My ramblings on wheels

 I absolutely hate, that one week later I’m back in the trenches of missing you. I spent a year and a half losing my mind because I believed every single thing you said. That I was cruel, selfish, that I was a meaningless notch on your bed post, and gifts collecting dust of girlfriends past. Then when you stopped talking to me, I don’t remember the exact moment I was able to stop thinking about you but somehow I blinked and four years had gone by. And then you messaged me and despite a worse heartbreak then you, which I didn’t even think was a possibility. I fell for you again. I couldn’t breathe when you told me you felt something for me again. “There is no way she wants me again” not after I lost my mind, and she was so awful and we were just awful to each other……but somehow I was addicted to the dream of you again. But still you wouldn’t move forward with me, you’d fuck me. We’d fuck each other. Let’s be real, that was never our issue. I’ve always wanted those gold rings, and to...

I’ve never read The Scarlet Letter but I’m beginning to relate to it a bit too much for my liking. Five or six months ago I believed I was given a second chance with someone who I used to beg the universe to let me speak to again…..now? Well, now I shown why I am rarely ever wrong when it comes to people choosing cruelty over love. Having you’re wife choose someone else and tell you it’s you’re fault will alter even the softest person. At least it did for me. Then to have even more of that type of pain be done once you’ve shared exactly just what that did? They were right all along, I deserve so much more than petty jealousy when they are the ones who built a fake future in my wild, colorful, loving, soft heart. I learned through my own mistakes that love does not threaten.  In fact:  “  Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no recor...